Love, Hope, and Dream?
Hi, my name is Shirley, founder of Hello You Are Precious/ ShirleyChuaTan.
It must have been more than twenty years ago. Someone told me: Our children will keep improving… as they grow older, I think what she meant is ALL THESE SHALL PASSED, so don’t worry.
It might be true that our children will keep improving with our relentless effort. It is also true that parents are more relaxed as the routine and conformability of our special needs set in. As this journey is not a sprint but a marathon, I want to help you bring the needed stamina for this journey; creativity, grit, and lots of positive attitude. After all, we cannot see the beautiful scenery until we climb to the top of the mountain. Don't focus on the here and now, but on what is coming.
We will be given different kinds of success as our Lord promises if we preserve a positive attitude, there will be immensely great rejoicing at the end of this relentless and uncompromising road. I want to be part of your success, I want to be able to use my lived experience to motivate you.
~~My presence is to help you to be stronger and your weight lighter ~~
“What happened when we passed, when can he talk, what can I do to help him to be independent…?” As a mother of a functionally nonverbal, 24/7 care needed Autistic adult son, these questions and more are giving us sleepless night, exhausted and worried. I have tracked the last 30 years looking for answers.
I know firsthand the stresses added to couple with special needs. Sadly, I have seen broken marriages and family being torn apart because of lack resources towards family counselling and help.
I am a creative, resourceful and hardworking wife/mom who has helped save my marriage, empowering my three children and a thriving family businesses.
Feel free to reach out, connect and ask.
Shirley Chua-Tan
A family Amazing Journey to encourage you and yours
Watching Ernest’s race in Dubai has change his mom, Shirley Chua-Tan's life forever. How could her functionally non verbal, 24/7 support needed, cannot make simple choices son managed to won the first medal for Canada and possibly the last medal for the country? She wrote a book, "From The Parking Lot To The Podium." Hoping that the book will help families with Autistic children. A guide for couples to stay in marriage, watch out for the normal siblings and many more. Love, hope and dream exit. Life is a gift!
Having a family is like running a business
The focus of the family is everyone, not just the special needs child.
We have to look into the welfare of parents(directors) and siblings, extended family (all the staffs), and finances (business budgeting )
A healthy family starts from the wellbeing of parents as parents influence the development of their children, environment and the main source of the family’s finances. As in any businesses, there are director meetings, in the same token, parents need to have their private time, get away, “honeymoon,” to communicate, plan and nourish their first love. Communication is key to any relationship, especially when we have unplanned special needs child that requires different approach to a healthy family dynamic. The health of the family depends on the healthy relationship of the parents.
Siblings are the future leaders of our country. They will need equal, if not extra emotional support as their childhood will be impacted. Remember they are not your “free labor.” looking after their special needs siblings. Caring for the special needs child after the parents pass on should not be the responsibility of the siblings unless they offered. Let the children be children. Do not add unnecessary weight on their shoulders as their will have their own challenges growing up.
Raising a special needs child requires a positive and relentless effort. It is a skill that can be learned over time. Which intervention, therapy, or support method use is a family decision. A general consensus will lead to a better outcome with respected decision.
Finances can be challenging when parents disagreed on the help that the special needs child requires. It is often the starting point of disagreement and a breakdown of communication.
For businesses, we can open and close anytime, however our family do not have an expiry date. Since we are in for a long haul, communicate and plan with many short wins and a long-term vision might be a wise approach.
Testimonials
Genevieve Lim
Founder of Genevieve's Where Kids Love To Learn (Singapore/Canada)
“Her personal experiences with her Son Ernest, their successes and challenges, have given her a strong platform from which to connect with others in the same situation. ”
Yesh Sharma
P.Eng,PMP Senior Engineer BC Hydro Victoria-BC
“I noticed her willingness to help others always come first. Also she is a great mother who takes care of her children specially her special needs son. She is also active in the community and always help other people. ”
Jean Ctai
“ I truly enjoyed the motivational retreat and learned what I have to work on for myself. I enjoyed the meaningful conversational talk and allowed the environment to bring calm to the day. ”
Tammy Sokoloski Bachelier
“ I just finished your book . I was touched and connected on so many levels. I also have an autistic son, he is 13 and non verbal with development delays or disabilities. We are kind of at a crossroads about what his and our future looks like so your book came to me at a very good time!!!! ”
Family with Special Needs Children
Our special needs children are not android or Apple. They are on different known operating system waiting to be discovered.
Let me help you in 1. Acceptance 2. Positive reinforcement 3. Family dynamic as a package 4. Intervention/therapy 5. Creative ideas for the challenges 6. Why advocacy 7. Protect your marriage ?
My lived experience will help you and your family find the solutions to get ahead.
Protect Your Marriage
Marriage has no rehearsal. It should be called MARRIAGING as it is a ongoing process.
With our special needs children, we might be affected with:
Strained marriages, Sleepless, stressful, worrying, suicidal thoughts.
Neglecting the other children, run into financial burden, busier and stressful lifestyle…
We will never have the same parenting experience as our friends with neurotypical children.
We are set on different path, journey… and one can feel helpless, lonely, no invites to events.
We will realized that from every adversity:
Suffering often produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character produces hope. With this clarity, it will help to downplay the issues in your marriage as long as you don’t give up.
Helping you and your family turn those unwritten pages into a book of pride. We are all looking for our own unusual favor and dreams…it is there!
My work
Past Volunteered Organization
Raising a star
This book is about hope. It is unthinkable that Ernest with his low, nonfunctional communication ability was able to overcome his challenges and make it to the international podium. Not once, but twice. It hopes to serve as encouragement to other parents: if Ernest can do it, there is hope for any child with special needs to succeed. Everything is possible with creativity and determination. Your baby will achieve great things with your help. My heart is beaming with excitement about the new possibilities that my family could share with the world to empower the others.
All money raised through the sale of the book has been donated to non profit organization. Big Brother and Big Sister Organization is close to my heart as the clients and their families are our future leaders. We have to help them.
